This last fear, Fear Number Five is the big one - it is the fear that causes 95% of all anger issues - 95% of your difficulties with people.
So far we have:
Fear of Change
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Being Corner
Fear of Losing your Pack
The question we are answering is "When would a horse stand and fight a sabre-toothed tiger instead of giving the danger signal to the rest of the herd and taking off running?
Now people start throwing out wild guesses:
For territory
Stallions will fight for the mares (translated that means they would fight a sabre-toothed tiger for sex?!)
Because it's a crazy horse??
OK, let's ask this question slightly differently: when would a horse fight another horse?
For territory
Stallions will fight for the mares (so it IS all about sex!?!)
For dominance
To chase a weaker stallion (or mare) out of the herd
These answers are all the right answers; but they all boil down to one underlying answer:
Horses will fight other horses for position in the pack and this is the Number One reason that people become difficult with each other: this is the Number One fear that causes the Safety Brain to take over.
FIGHTING FOR POSITION IN THE PACK
You'll know you are fighting for position in the pack when you hear yourself saying things like: "Because I said so." "Because I'm the mom." "Because I'm the boss." "Just do it my way." "My way is the right way." "Can you believe he said that?!" (underlying message is you would never say something like that. It's so wrong!)
You are fighting for position in the pack any time you judge someone else; anytime you consider someone else to be inferior or weaker; and any time you feel the need to prove yourself right; anytime you feel the need to persuade someone that YOU are right!
Take a look at yourself and the last time you got upset with someone: it was about proving they were wrong and you were right, right?!
FIGHTING FOR POSITION IN THE PACK - the Number One cause of anger - and it's all based on low self-esteem!
Jeanette Kasper -- Your Anger UnTangler
Defuse (or Delete) difficult people in your life. Neutralize your anger. DON'T smack them upside the head! No more bodies buried under the copier!
So far we have:
Fear of Change
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Being Corner
Fear of Losing your Pack
The question we are answering is "When would a horse stand and fight a sabre-toothed tiger instead of giving the danger signal to the rest of the herd and taking off running?
Now people start throwing out wild guesses:
For territory
Stallions will fight for the mares (translated that means they would fight a sabre-toothed tiger for sex?!)
Because it's a crazy horse??
OK, let's ask this question slightly differently: when would a horse fight another horse?
For territory
Stallions will fight for the mares (so it IS all about sex!?!)
For dominance
To chase a weaker stallion (or mare) out of the herd
These answers are all the right answers; but they all boil down to one underlying answer:
Horses will fight other horses for position in the pack and this is the Number One reason that people become difficult with each other: this is the Number One fear that causes the Safety Brain to take over.
FIGHTING FOR POSITION IN THE PACK
You'll know you are fighting for position in the pack when you hear yourself saying things like: "Because I said so." "Because I'm the mom." "Because I'm the boss." "Just do it my way." "My way is the right way." "Can you believe he said that?!" (underlying message is you would never say something like that. It's so wrong!)
You are fighting for position in the pack any time you judge someone else; anytime you consider someone else to be inferior or weaker; and any time you feel the need to prove yourself right; anytime you feel the need to persuade someone that YOU are right!
Take a look at yourself and the last time you got upset with someone: it was about proving they were wrong and you were right, right?!
FIGHTING FOR POSITION IN THE PACK - the Number One cause of anger - and it's all based on low self-esteem!
Jeanette Kasper -- Your Anger UnTangler
Defuse (or Delete) difficult people in your life. Neutralize your anger. DON'T smack them upside the head! No more bodies buried under the copier!
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