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Sunday, November 10, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
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Friday, September 27, 2013
!!!Sunday, October 28, 2012
Karate Chopping Holiday Blues - 5 Reasons to Smile
Karate Chop those "Holiday Blues" with these 5 Proven (Smile Methods).
Today is November 25th just one month away from the anticipated, yet dreaded, but loved holiday known as Christmas. Often the holidays are an emotional trigger for emotions ranging from happiness to anger. Who knows why the holidays trigger emotions, but it's a fact that people feel inadequate during this time with financial concerns at the forefront of their human experience. Lack of money, poor health and an impending urgency to buy too much uneeded stuff, create havoc within the emotional infastructure of men and women during the holidays.
As a mother of three sons and two beautiful granddaughters I have experienced extreme emotions including doubt, fear, anger and even shame. My grand realization that these emotions were not real, or had no real impact upon my life, was when my son who was 7 years old at the time, had a seizure playing Nintendo. What opened my eyes was that life is precious and just waking in the morning was a reason to smile. So I have found 5 steps that help you karate chop the holiday blues and shift immediately into a place of comfort and joy.
Practical Step #1 - When you feel the anxiety come up and feel like crying, begin to say these words "I love you", "Please forgive me", and "Thank You". This is a Japanese prayer designed to bring to you a calmness of mind.
Practical Step #2 - Simply smile for 2 minutes and think of the birth of your child, or the last puppy you had. Thinking of one thing that makes you smile, can shift your mood immediately.
Practical Step #3 - Go outside and stand on the ground. Do this even if it is very cold outside. The air will change your mood and connect you with the foundation and beginning of all life.
Practical Step #4 - Gratitude is the key to loving life. Even in the worse conditions of ill health, low finances or family fights, gratitude is an emotion that will shift your perception of your situation in an instant. What you are grateful for you will receive more of. What you are not grateful for, you will probably lose. So, if you are upset about not having enough money to buy gifts, start saying gratitude for what you have in front of you. Maybe it's a car, home or possession, but you have something to be grateful for.
Practical Step #5 - Joining a support group on social media such as Facebook can help you to feel that you are not alone. Millions of people suffer from anxiety during this time. There are many groups on Facebook to help you talk about what's going on in your life. When you decide to join a group, introduce yourself and be honest. Seeing and admitting that you are feeling negative emotions is the best way to shift the emotion to one that feels better.
These strategies work. Christmas is a time of giving, and often the greatest gift we can give another is the gift of our time and attention. No matter how much money you have or how big of a credit line you possess, you will tend to feel that there is not enough. Remember that you are the bank of prosperity. Within you exists the answer to every question and the gift that everyone wants to receive.
Today is November 25th just one month away from the anticipated, yet dreaded, but loved holiday known as Christmas. Often the holidays are an emotional trigger for emotions ranging from happiness to anger. Who knows why the holidays trigger emotions, but it's a fact that people feel inadequate during this time with financial concerns at the forefront of their human experience. Lack of money, poor health and an impending urgency to buy too much uneeded stuff, create havoc within the emotional infastructure of men and women during the holidays.
As a mother of three sons and two beautiful granddaughters I have experienced extreme emotions including doubt, fear, anger and even shame. My grand realization that these emotions were not real, or had no real impact upon my life, was when my son who was 7 years old at the time, had a seizure playing Nintendo. What opened my eyes was that life is precious and just waking in the morning was a reason to smile. So I have found 5 steps that help you karate chop the holiday blues and shift immediately into a place of comfort and joy.
Practical Step #1 - When you feel the anxiety come up and feel like crying, begin to say these words "I love you", "Please forgive me", and "Thank You". This is a Japanese prayer designed to bring to you a calmness of mind.
Practical Step #2 - Simply smile for 2 minutes and think of the birth of your child, or the last puppy you had. Thinking of one thing that makes you smile, can shift your mood immediately.
Practical Step #3 - Go outside and stand on the ground. Do this even if it is very cold outside. The air will change your mood and connect you with the foundation and beginning of all life.
Practical Step #4 - Gratitude is the key to loving life. Even in the worse conditions of ill health, low finances or family fights, gratitude is an emotion that will shift your perception of your situation in an instant. What you are grateful for you will receive more of. What you are not grateful for, you will probably lose. So, if you are upset about not having enough money to buy gifts, start saying gratitude for what you have in front of you. Maybe it's a car, home or possession, but you have something to be grateful for.
Practical Step #5 - Joining a support group on social media such as Facebook can help you to feel that you are not alone. Millions of people suffer from anxiety during this time. There are many groups on Facebook to help you talk about what's going on in your life. When you decide to join a group, introduce yourself and be honest. Seeing and admitting that you are feeling negative emotions is the best way to shift the emotion to one that feels better.
These strategies work. Christmas is a time of giving, and often the greatest gift we can give another is the gift of our time and attention. No matter how much money you have or how big of a credit line you possess, you will tend to feel that there is not enough. Remember that you are the bank of prosperity. Within you exists the answer to every question and the gift that everyone wants to receive.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Tips to Beat Bad Behavior Such As Anger and Being a Bully
Avoid triggers in the early stages until you've learned to react more appropriately. Walk away from arguments and situations where you were about to manipulate others to your own ends. If you are part of, or leading, a group/gang that behaves in this way you should stop associating with these old friends. In the early stages it is best to avoid places where they meet.
The suggestion of a mental illness is the quickest way to deflect enquiries from old acquaintances. When a simple "I don't do that any more" is insufficient to stop pestering about one's new ways, then the suggestion of madness will usually do the trick: "I don't behave like that any more, it was driving me mad, I'm having treatment." Disengage from such people as soon as possible unless they sincerely seek treatment for the same condition.
If you absolutely have to visit somewhere near a location which offers the temptation to behave in the old stupid way, don't stay any longer than you have to. Always plan your own escape route in case. Make sure you have the phone number of a taxi or a friend if needed. And if anyone makes a fuss about our not joining in it is a sign that they could have a problem similar to our own.
It's important to identify the main addiction or habit you are trying to beat. If you have a problem with drugs, including alcohol, and/or other addictions the prime problem must be addressed and all the other issues dealt with as part of that problem. So if bad behaviour is part of another problem, then join a program that deals with the main problem and deal with behavior issues as part of that. The tips in this article are for people whose bad behavior is their main addiction or habit. If there are multiple addictions, deal with the prime addiction first and the others later. The prime addiction is the one that all the others flow from. When you're not drinking, is it easier to deal with the other problems? Then drink is the prime problem. If scoring drugs is top of mind and all the other (by this stage illusory) pleasures stem from that, then drugs are the prime problem. If there used to be a thrill element or you felt better when fighting, bullying and behaving badly then this may be the prime problem that needs dealing with first. If other issues are completely absent then it is a no brainer.
If you are still violent and dangerous there is a meeting held via a telephone conference call. Visit http://www.violenceanonymous.com.
There is no excuse or reason to behave in the bad old ways. Is someone winding you up? No excuse, walk away. Do you feel the need for power and self-importance to replace feelings of being hard done by? There is no good reason for taking it out on others, walk away. If you want self-esteem you must do self-esteemable things such as good deeds. And one good deed per day must be one that you don't tell anyone about.
Challenge the passing thought that you'd like to behave badly. Tell it to F*** off. Otherwise a seed will be planted that will grow into a real bout of bad behavior instead of an imagined one. Maybe not today, maybe a week later, but you will find yourself behaving in a way you'd decided not to any more.
Play the film the whole way through. This means: don't just imagine what the first bullying act will be like. Don't just imagine the scene setter - controlling others in a way that humiliates them and makes you feel god-like. How often will it be repeated? What trouble will you get into? How much harm will you do to yourself and those around you? What recriminations will there be at a later stage? How many short months of misery before you end up in dead trouble?
Don't get bored. Meetings only take up so much time. Fill the time you used to spend engaging in your old problem with cinema, evening classes, the gym or swimming, for example. You could try new activities to see which you like. Make a list of things you'd intended to do.
Stop indulging in your addiction, go to meetings and, in between meetings, keep in touch with people you met at the meetings.
Don't rush the program. It's not a race. The concentration required to abstain and behave better without a relapse over time, precludes any quick fix.
Avoid stressful events, if possible, such as divorce, moving house, changing jobs, or a new partner in the first year or two. The stress can break one's concentration on tackling the withdrawals.
The suggestion of a mental illness is the quickest way to deflect enquiries from old acquaintances. When a simple "I don't do that any more" is insufficient to stop pestering about one's new ways, then the suggestion of madness will usually do the trick: "I don't behave like that any more, it was driving me mad, I'm having treatment." Disengage from such people as soon as possible unless they sincerely seek treatment for the same condition.
If you absolutely have to visit somewhere near a location which offers the temptation to behave in the old stupid way, don't stay any longer than you have to. Always plan your own escape route in case. Make sure you have the phone number of a taxi or a friend if needed. And if anyone makes a fuss about our not joining in it is a sign that they could have a problem similar to our own.
It's important to identify the main addiction or habit you are trying to beat. If you have a problem with drugs, including alcohol, and/or other addictions the prime problem must be addressed and all the other issues dealt with as part of that problem. So if bad behaviour is part of another problem, then join a program that deals with the main problem and deal with behavior issues as part of that. The tips in this article are for people whose bad behavior is their main addiction or habit. If there are multiple addictions, deal with the prime addiction first and the others later. The prime addiction is the one that all the others flow from. When you're not drinking, is it easier to deal with the other problems? Then drink is the prime problem. If scoring drugs is top of mind and all the other (by this stage illusory) pleasures stem from that, then drugs are the prime problem. If there used to be a thrill element or you felt better when fighting, bullying and behaving badly then this may be the prime problem that needs dealing with first. If other issues are completely absent then it is a no brainer.
If you are still violent and dangerous there is a meeting held via a telephone conference call. Visit http://www.violenceanonymous.com.
There is no excuse or reason to behave in the bad old ways. Is someone winding you up? No excuse, walk away. Do you feel the need for power and self-importance to replace feelings of being hard done by? There is no good reason for taking it out on others, walk away. If you want self-esteem you must do self-esteemable things such as good deeds. And one good deed per day must be one that you don't tell anyone about.
Challenge the passing thought that you'd like to behave badly. Tell it to F*** off. Otherwise a seed will be planted that will grow into a real bout of bad behavior instead of an imagined one. Maybe not today, maybe a week later, but you will find yourself behaving in a way you'd decided not to any more.
Play the film the whole way through. This means: don't just imagine what the first bullying act will be like. Don't just imagine the scene setter - controlling others in a way that humiliates them and makes you feel god-like. How often will it be repeated? What trouble will you get into? How much harm will you do to yourself and those around you? What recriminations will there be at a later stage? How many short months of misery before you end up in dead trouble?
Don't get bored. Meetings only take up so much time. Fill the time you used to spend engaging in your old problem with cinema, evening classes, the gym or swimming, for example. You could try new activities to see which you like. Make a list of things you'd intended to do.
Stop indulging in your addiction, go to meetings and, in between meetings, keep in touch with people you met at the meetings.
Don't rush the program. It's not a race. The concentration required to abstain and behave better without a relapse over time, precludes any quick fix.
Avoid stressful events, if possible, such as divorce, moving house, changing jobs, or a new partner in the first year or two. The stress can break one's concentration on tackling the withdrawals.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Eight Risks of Being Angry
Harming the liver
When being angry, people will secrete a kind of "catecholamine" which will act on the central nervous system, causing increased blood glucose, strengthened fatty acid decomposition and increased toxins in the blood and liver cells.
Suggestion: When being angry, drink a glass of water. Water can promote the discharging of body free fatty acid and reduce the toxins.
Inducing splashes on the skin
When being angry, the blood will rush to the head, so the blood oxygen will reduce, toxins will increase. And toxins can stimulate hair follicle, causing different degrees of inflammation. Thus, splashes will occur.
Suggestion: When facing the unpleasant things, do deep breath with both hands uplifting to adjust the body state and expel the toxins.
Accelerating the aging of brain cells
A large number of blood flowing to the brain will increase the pressure on cerebrovascular vessels. The toxins content in the blood is the highest and oxygen content the least.
Suggestion: When facing the unpleasant things, do deep breath with both hands uplifting to adjust the body state and expel the toxins.
Gastric ulcer
Anger will cause sympathetic excitement, and directly act upon the heart and blood vessels. Gastrointestinal blood flow will decrease and peristalsis will be slow and the appetite will be reduced. If the case is serious, gastric ulcer may appear.
Suggestion: Massaging on the stomach every day to alleviate the discomforts.
Myocardial ischemia
A large amount of blood flows to the brain and the face will reduce the heart blood supply and cause myocardial ischemia. Heart, in order to satisfy the body needs, will work harder. So there will be irregular heartbeats which can be deadly.
Suggestion: try to smile, and recall the pleasant things, can make the beating of the heart restore and blood flow tends to be uniform.
Hyperthyroidism
Anger will cause endocrine disorder, increase the thyroid hormone secretion and cause hyperthyroidism if the condition continues.
Suggestion: Relax, sit down, close your eyes, do deep breaths.
Harming the lungs
When one gets emotional and impulsive, the breathing will be in a hurry and there will appear hyperventilation phenomenon. Alveolar will constantly keep expanding and there is no time for contraction. So there won't be enough relaxation and rest thus the health of the lungs will be affected.
Suggestion: Focus and do deep and slow breathing for 5 times.
Damaging the immune system
When being angry, the brain will command the body to manufacture a kind of cortex sterol that is transformed by cholesterol. If this kind of material is accumulated inside body too much, it will hinder the action of immune cells and lower the body's immunity.
Suggestion: Recall the good thing that you have done as far as possible to calm the mind.
When being angry, people will secrete a kind of "catecholamine" which will act on the central nervous system, causing increased blood glucose, strengthened fatty acid decomposition and increased toxins in the blood and liver cells.
Suggestion: When being angry, drink a glass of water. Water can promote the discharging of body free fatty acid and reduce the toxins.
Inducing splashes on the skin
When being angry, the blood will rush to the head, so the blood oxygen will reduce, toxins will increase. And toxins can stimulate hair follicle, causing different degrees of inflammation. Thus, splashes will occur.
Suggestion: When facing the unpleasant things, do deep breath with both hands uplifting to adjust the body state and expel the toxins.
Accelerating the aging of brain cells
A large number of blood flowing to the brain will increase the pressure on cerebrovascular vessels. The toxins content in the blood is the highest and oxygen content the least.
Suggestion: When facing the unpleasant things, do deep breath with both hands uplifting to adjust the body state and expel the toxins.
Gastric ulcer
Anger will cause sympathetic excitement, and directly act upon the heart and blood vessels. Gastrointestinal blood flow will decrease and peristalsis will be slow and the appetite will be reduced. If the case is serious, gastric ulcer may appear.
Suggestion: Massaging on the stomach every day to alleviate the discomforts.
Myocardial ischemia
A large amount of blood flows to the brain and the face will reduce the heart blood supply and cause myocardial ischemia. Heart, in order to satisfy the body needs, will work harder. So there will be irregular heartbeats which can be deadly.
Suggestion: try to smile, and recall the pleasant things, can make the beating of the heart restore and blood flow tends to be uniform.
Hyperthyroidism
Anger will cause endocrine disorder, increase the thyroid hormone secretion and cause hyperthyroidism if the condition continues.
Suggestion: Relax, sit down, close your eyes, do deep breaths.
Harming the lungs
When one gets emotional and impulsive, the breathing will be in a hurry and there will appear hyperventilation phenomenon. Alveolar will constantly keep expanding and there is no time for contraction. So there won't be enough relaxation and rest thus the health of the lungs will be affected.
Suggestion: Focus and do deep and slow breathing for 5 times.
Damaging the immune system
When being angry, the brain will command the body to manufacture a kind of cortex sterol that is transformed by cholesterol. If this kind of material is accumulated inside body too much, it will hinder the action of immune cells and lower the body's immunity.
Suggestion: Recall the good thing that you have done as far as possible to calm the mind.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
You Cannot Control Anger, You Must Remove The Cause
Anger is not one of the positive emotions; in fact it can be one of the most destructive for both the sufferer and people nearby. Though anger affects both men and women, it tends to be more of a problem with men.
Chronic anger is anger that has been within the person for a long time. It may have started when the person was a child and still be there sixty years later. It is not the reactive anger to an event; it is the deep seething feeling that is rarely far from the surface.
As an example (which is purely hypothetical), a young girl has an older sister that somehow seems to get better treatment by her parents. This unfair treatment goes on uncorrected for many years. This leads to the younger sister feeling a sense of injustice, unfairness and yet guilt for feeling that way. She has conflicting emotions of anger and guilt. When the unequal treatment extends into adolescence and adulthood, the conscious mind accepts the unfair treatment but the unconscious mind does not. The result is chronic anger which is continually being reinforced every time she and her sister are with their parents.
There are usually strong signals when someone feels chronic anger. The symptoms may include; aggression, a "short fuse", low tolerance, poor inter-personal skills and a risk of verbal abuse leading to physical violence. Though not everyone who has injustice in their lives will suffer with chronic anger, almost everyone who has such anger will have something in their lives which was the cause.
Chronic anger not only affects the person, it affects everyone around them. Friends, if there are any, and family members learn to tread carefully when the person is around. They learn quickly that any small event can trigger a bout of anger when things can be thrown, harsh words spoken and people may be assaulted.
The cause of chronic anger is usually an unresolved issue from the past. It may have arisen many years ago, and even decades before would not be uncommon. The cause is usually hidden within the unconscious mind so the sufferer rarely has any idea what caused the anger. The anger may have gone on so long that the person believes it is their normal behaviour.
The most frequent causes of chronic anger include frustration, an impotence to put the offending matter right. It may involve something that conflicts with their basic sense of justice and fair play. It may arise from a feeling of lack of control in their lives.
In summary, chronic anger arises from an injustice which is unresolved.
The usual methods of dealing with someone who is angry, such as shouting back, have no effect and may make matters worse. Avoiding the person is easier but leaves the sufferer feeing isolated. Asking the person to "get control" of themselves will simply increase the sense of injustice and make the person more angry. None of these techniques will resolve the issue.
Talking to the person in a calm and quiet voice will often settle them down but will do nothing to resolve the issue. Talking to the person calmly will appeal to their conscious mind but will not reach the unconscious issue that is the ultimate cause.
The only person who can resolve the issue is the person who suffers the anger. Only that person can undertake the internal searching for the cause of the problem. In short, the person must take responsibility for their anger, stop blaming everyone else for their problems and decide to sort out their issues.
This will not be easy because a feeling of anger may be so familiar that the person cannot remember any other way to behave. Feeling angry may be their way of life. The aim must be to give them, and everyone who is near them, peace of mind.
The only way to resolve the anger is to find the cause and resolve it. The person must be empowered so that their sense of injustice is satisfied. It may not be possible to achieve complete satisfaction, but acceptance of the unjust situation may be enough to allow the anger to abate. Often, the anger is intense because the injustice took place when the person was very young, and at such a young age, they had no life skills or experiences to put the injustice into perspective.
Once the cause of the anger is resolved, the person often has to retrain themselves to react to situations in a calmer manner. They must relearn that any minor mishaps in life are not a reinforcement of life's unfair treatment. They must relinquish their feelings of paranoia.
Chronic anger is anger that has been within the person for a long time. It may have started when the person was a child and still be there sixty years later. It is not the reactive anger to an event; it is the deep seething feeling that is rarely far from the surface.
As an example (which is purely hypothetical), a young girl has an older sister that somehow seems to get better treatment by her parents. This unfair treatment goes on uncorrected for many years. This leads to the younger sister feeling a sense of injustice, unfairness and yet guilt for feeling that way. She has conflicting emotions of anger and guilt. When the unequal treatment extends into adolescence and adulthood, the conscious mind accepts the unfair treatment but the unconscious mind does not. The result is chronic anger which is continually being reinforced every time she and her sister are with their parents.
There are usually strong signals when someone feels chronic anger. The symptoms may include; aggression, a "short fuse", low tolerance, poor inter-personal skills and a risk of verbal abuse leading to physical violence. Though not everyone who has injustice in their lives will suffer with chronic anger, almost everyone who has such anger will have something in their lives which was the cause.
Chronic anger not only affects the person, it affects everyone around them. Friends, if there are any, and family members learn to tread carefully when the person is around. They learn quickly that any small event can trigger a bout of anger when things can be thrown, harsh words spoken and people may be assaulted.
The cause of chronic anger is usually an unresolved issue from the past. It may have arisen many years ago, and even decades before would not be uncommon. The cause is usually hidden within the unconscious mind so the sufferer rarely has any idea what caused the anger. The anger may have gone on so long that the person believes it is their normal behaviour.
The most frequent causes of chronic anger include frustration, an impotence to put the offending matter right. It may involve something that conflicts with their basic sense of justice and fair play. It may arise from a feeling of lack of control in their lives.
In summary, chronic anger arises from an injustice which is unresolved.
The usual methods of dealing with someone who is angry, such as shouting back, have no effect and may make matters worse. Avoiding the person is easier but leaves the sufferer feeing isolated. Asking the person to "get control" of themselves will simply increase the sense of injustice and make the person more angry. None of these techniques will resolve the issue.
Talking to the person in a calm and quiet voice will often settle them down but will do nothing to resolve the issue. Talking to the person calmly will appeal to their conscious mind but will not reach the unconscious issue that is the ultimate cause.
The only person who can resolve the issue is the person who suffers the anger. Only that person can undertake the internal searching for the cause of the problem. In short, the person must take responsibility for their anger, stop blaming everyone else for their problems and decide to sort out their issues.
This will not be easy because a feeling of anger may be so familiar that the person cannot remember any other way to behave. Feeling angry may be their way of life. The aim must be to give them, and everyone who is near them, peace of mind.
The only way to resolve the anger is to find the cause and resolve it. The person must be empowered so that their sense of injustice is satisfied. It may not be possible to achieve complete satisfaction, but acceptance of the unjust situation may be enough to allow the anger to abate. Often, the anger is intense because the injustice took place when the person was very young, and at such a young age, they had no life skills or experiences to put the injustice into perspective.
Once the cause of the anger is resolved, the person often has to retrain themselves to react to situations in a calmer manner. They must relearn that any minor mishaps in life are not a reinforcement of life's unfair treatment. They must relinquish their feelings of paranoia.
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